Inner editors don’t have much to do. They stand around a lot, talking about all the great things they’re going to do. It’s one of the reasons they jump on you soon as you start creating.

I tried an exercise I read about. As you’re writing, you have a separate sheet of paper for your inner editor (it makes it feel important and like it’s doing something–it has its own sheet of paper). Soon as a negative comment enters your head, you write it down so it’s out of your head. It’s kind of like keeping a child busy so you can work.

By calling out your editor, letting it know it’s being monitored, it’s a lot quieter. I don’t know if it’s fumbling for something witty and original to say since it has an audience. I knew it wasn’t very bright to begin with. I also didn’t care. I got a lot of work done with only my story in my head.

After your session, you’re supposed to look at the list and see the repetitive drone of your editor. I did, but since I had my inner bully pinned, I decided to retaliate. Not exactly being the bigger person, but it felt really good.
Here are some highlights.

Could you pick a more juvenile topic?

No one’s going to read this. Who’s going to read this?
I am and people like me.

People are “shooting a lot of looks.”
They sure are. I know what that means and I will come back to clarify.

You have a really far way to go.
And only time to do it in. So nice of you to keep me company. 🙂

That’s not style. That’s bad writing.
Bite me. I can rewrite it later.

That may have been the worst sentence ever written.
No, pretty sure there has been worse. If you give me a second, I can go for the gold in that category.

So and So is such a better writer than you.
Good for them.

No seriously, So and So would’ve written that so much better.
That is them, this is me. I will get to that level, but you need to let me work.

You need to build an audience.
Can I focus on writing right now?

Why write if you don’t have anyone to read it?
How about you go off and start marketing and building an audience, and I’ll stay here and write?