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I watched the movie “Invincible” with my brother before I took him to hockey last night.I don’t think you should have an emotional recovery time from watching a movie. Each scene I’m dying inside for Mark Wahlberg’s character then, “Okay let’s go”, have to get behind the wheel and drive someone I care about. Some movies should have more value, but you shouldn’t have to take some time for yourself to gather yourself and stop your heart from bleeding.

“Invincible” and other underdog movies affect my perspective; they either put me in great perspective or warp it in a way Hitchcock would have loved.

They make me imagine myself in insurmountable odds, dramas that if it were ever made into a movie would also have people wretching with tears. I picture myself in traumatic events, but overcoming them and becoming stronger. It’s not a complete waste of time: I’m able to envision myself a winner.

I realized I have had some events others have not endured or imagined could happen (because those types of things don’t happen) and come out all right if not better. Part of me doesn’t see them as huge events. Because it happened to me, it’s not a big deal. If the same thing happened to another I might say, “Wow.”

I used to compete horses in dressage. One day in March when I was 17, I was training and the horse spooked.The horse fell over (he was okay), but I was stuck in the stirrup and I was dragged. I woke up not knowing who my parents were or how to walk, talk, or eat on my own. I had a severe concussion. It took 3 months for my brain to de-swell so doctors could take scans. The incredibly abridged version is I taught myself how to walk, talk, and eat again and I was able to go to school in the fall. My schedule was adapted and different from it was supposed to be but not much. I was still in Poms. I graduated on time.

Also during my senior year while recovering from the initial head injury, I was a passenger in a car accident that loosened my ocular nerves. I now have permanent double vision (which isn’t bad when you’re looking at some things).

I didn’t realize how bad my concussion was until my second year in college. I was in an education class and we were talking about Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I had all the qualifications.I’m not TBI because I recovered.

When something happens to you, it’s what you have to do. There is no other option. If you ever want to walk again, you need to do this. If you want to graduate on time, you need to do this.

I don’t know if what I’m saying is commenting on me or our top-this society (what I went through was much worse than you) or a relationship to empathy or sympathy. Watching a movie I can see what they went through and had to overcome. In “Invincible”‘s case, Wahlberg’s character was also something for a town to believe in when they couldn’t believe in anything else. When it’s you, it’s you. It’s what you had to do at the time.

It feels like your trauma has to be outside of you, you against a physical entity or thing other people can see. So you had a head injury…so you met politics in a sport…so you died…you’re obviously alive now so it couldn’t have been that bad.

So what’s the point of this post besides you learning more than you ever wanted to know about me? How your perspective is everything.  There are different grades of challenges from minute to colossal and we categorize them differently depending who we are. Someone’s small is someone elses huge and the on looker wonders how they do it? They just do.

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