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Let’s hear it for one of the best parts of the Olympics, one of London’s best ideas, something so quintessentially English, an idea that encapsulates the past, the future, the culture, and, what I think Great Britain is known for, its sense of humor. I’m talking about the baby Mini Coopers in the Olympics, ladies and gentlemen.

If you have not seen these treasures of the Olympic games, you need to google them. It will improve your day. They are so whimsical but practical and perfect. I see the brain storm session: a bunch of people around a board room table, “How can we retrieve the hammers from the hammer toss quickly and efficiently, yet make it ours?” Someone had to stay at home, maybe to watch their kid, and is listening in on a conference call. They see their child race their remote control car by the door. “I have an idea…”

They’re about calf high it looks like and just shrunken versions of the life-size cars. They race around the field with little metal arms up, grab the hammer, and race back, looking so pleased with themselves.

They’re so perfect and make sense. Yellow submarines in the pool tailing the swimmers or clocking times would have been silly. The idea could only be improved if they had used Daleks. (Sidenote: Daleks are pretty perfect anywhere. Cybermen, not so much. They might have been confused for some of the athletes. But Daleks at water polo? If there was a dispute, they’d just say, “Exterminate!” and blow up the ball. I see them eyeballing some of the volleyball players, “You would make a great Dalek.”)

I really hope they drag race the baby Mini Coopers between events on the track, maybe wielding flags of countries, maybe not. Countries could have bragging rights, “You may have beaten us at hurdles, but we had the fastest wet lap time.”

I see the guys from “Top Gear” showing up. Jeremy does background but ends up breaking one. Hammond can fit in one of the baby Mini Coopers and takes off. James May gets excited over the stats and what this means for the future for of small car engineering. Maybe they could put a baby Stig in there to really open one up on the track. Their challenge for the day could be to operate the baby Mini Coopers during the Olympic events. I see them crashing the cars into various judges, taking off at the wrong moment and either catching the hammer, ruining the car, but also preventing the athlete from getting a score because the hammer never touched the ground. I also see them taking off and taking out one of the foot races going on at the same time, inventing the event of “200 M Bowling.”

If you haven’t seen the baby Mini Coopers, you owe it to yourself to look them up.

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