I wanted to take a small shuffle step away from writing to share something my coach, Samantha Bennett, told the group:
You can’t screw up your life.
“What?” was my initial reaction.
“Of course” came next.
“But…” was a close third.
I had all these arguments ready for her, proof of how I had screwed up and had to fight my way back.
Yeah, I graduated Second City, put up shows. Now look where I am!
Yeah, I pitched executives and agents who requested my work. Look where I am now!
I suddenly remembered when I audited a clinic with Robert Dover. One of my big fears was I was screwing up the horse I was working with. The current rider in the ring confessed this same fear as she went trotting by the packed audience. Immediately and lovingly he said, “There’s no ruining. Only learning.”
Hearing him say that released so much tension and fear. Gave me permission to ride the way I knew how. Opened a door to confidence.
When Samantha said you can’t screw up your life, I balked. The real question was why did I feel like I had screwed up? I’m 28. I recovered from a traumatic brain injury. I graduated Second City and had shows up. I’ve pitched my work and it’s been requested.
Because I had this internal schedule. I had this idea of what everything should look like. I forget that dreams and success don’t always look the way you think they will. Just because you took a different route than planned doesn’t mean it was any less of a journey, you’re any less qualified. Maybe it makes you more qualified.
I was comparing myself to others and my ideas of success instead of valuing my journey and where I have come from. You can’t screw this up. I like to say, “everything happens for a reason,” but Samantha’s way feels more positive, free, and empowering.