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Contrary to popular belief, texting is not a form of exercise. Neither is straddling a bench or the row machine, back curved in fish hook shape, thumbs flying over your phone screen, communicating with people who are not working out.

It really irritates that I have to wait for a machine or the squat rack because some co-ed is sending single letters to someone and waiting for a reply before their next set. The only people who should be on their phones at the gym are surgeons waiting for body part coming across country and parents.

If agents who have deals going on both coasts can stay off their phones during their workout, so can you. If performers with multiple awards, records, and tour schedules can stay off their phones during their workout, so can you. Your boo or your bae should understand. You will not miss out on the latest local or international gossip. The world will exist when you step outside. You will actually appreciate it more because you’ve had the break.

You also won’t have me circling like a rabid corgi about to take out your Achilles tendons.

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