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I’m the unique person who loves burpees. Like I swooned in my trainer’s class when she said we were doing burpee jacks, her valentine to me. I also love battle ropes, two ropes anchored at some point  and you grasp the other end to execute a myriad of exercises.They were the deal sealer when I toured my gym. I get to play with them whenever I want. Apparently, some people do not like ropes. It came as a shock to me, but I understand.

I like simple things that kill. Battle ropes destroy me, but it’s for my own good. They look so easy. The concept is simple: Grab the ropes. Hoist it as high as you can and slam it down. It’s just a rope. Something that would tether a pirate ship. Holding it before you begin feels fine in your hand. “This won’t do much,” you tell yourself. A couple of sets in you won’t believe how much it is doing for you. How can you not lift this rope? What is going on? Why does gravity not want me to win?

You can do so much with them (maybe you’re hoping your trainer doesn’t know this, but I’m very grateful mine could write an encyclopedia on rope exercises). You can do ab workouts. Think Russian Twists are a breeze? Grab the ropes. It’s like doing them buried in snow.

I read a rope workout on Sunday and couldn’t wait to get to the gym to try it (that does sound a little sad). You slam them in a double wave, drop to do two push up’s and repeat.

“Oh like a rope burpee,” my trainer said when I told her. Yes. Kind of. Leave it to me to meld those two.

I thought about why else I enjoyed the ropes as I had them more than to myself on Sunday. I sometimes feel like I’m an evil coach driver driving a possessed carriage from the depths of hell. (If that doesn’t make you sign up for ropes, I don’t know what will.) I also realized if you slam them right, they sound like a whole stadium stomping and clapping for you in unison.

They’re different and they’re fun.That’s why I like them.